Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
