I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize