what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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