margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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