his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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