why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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