All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
