when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
