found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
