i don't like sucking hair
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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