I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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