After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
