dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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