he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
