I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
