just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
