I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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