Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
