Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
