Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize