He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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