I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
