Sry I called you an 8
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
