sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
