please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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