My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
