I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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