you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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