You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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