Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
