You're my little dorito
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize