we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
