I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
