Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
