Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
