I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She bit a glass in half.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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