This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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