he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize