i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
