Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dear god my vagina.
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