i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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