Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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