Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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