Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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