I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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