I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
