The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
