Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
