Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
no, he came in my armpit
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
