i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
