So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
