My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
