we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
