don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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