"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
