How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
