with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
