Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
