if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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