When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
