carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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