she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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