So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
