When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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