Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
